Age-old Questions

Here's some questions I've been thinking about lately. Maybe you've thought the same thing too.

How could Joe Pesci go from being such a putz in Home Alone to such a monstrous badass in Casino?

Why does my milk always seem to go bad the day before the actual expiration date?

How are preseason football rankings really made? Do these guys have an in with Ms Cleo?

Why does Ms Cleo speak with a horrible patois accent?

Who stemmed the horrible stereotype that women from the Caribbean have an unseen portal to the universe- more particularly, if you're doomed for relationship troubles?

Who keeps Cap'n Crunch on the market even though it rips the snot out of the roof of your mouth?

Has anyone filed a class-action lawsuit against Quaker Oats (maker of Cap'n Crunch) for soft palette damage?

Does Lil' Jon charge a per "YEAH" fee, or does he bill hourly?

Why do people enjoy NASCAR so much? (It's so predictable. Left hand turns for 500 miles.)

Perhaps you'll sleep better after finding the answers to these questions. I know I will.

Emelda Marcos was a CHUMP

I think I may have a serious problem. I really love shoes. No I really, really love shoes. The fact that I actually held a mini photoshoot of my beloved sneaks... and I'm writing this at exactly 2:40 AM makes my hypothetical problem seem, well, even more problematic. Maybe the fact that I know that I have this problem takes me one step closer to self-actualization, or maybe a giant leap to becoming a materialistic prick. You be the judge. I suppose I could be doing worse.

Thing is, sneakers are simply rad. See the picture above me? Particularly the third column from the left, second pair from the bottom? Those are "Money Cats." They're a limited edition Nike SB Dunk. I bought those about three weeks ago. They've already doubled in value since I bought them. Mine aren't worth that, because I actually wear mine, and I was too myopic to buy a second pair of the same pair to keep on "ice" for later resale (a cardinal sin to a true sneakerhead). I like em because they fit like a slipper and they're aesthetically the cat's PJs. You can't beat red and 'Niner gold.

This entry doesn't really have a point except the fact that I'm somewhat of a nerd, and I have shoes all over my area rug in my room. Oh well. They're all set up for me to choose what to wear tomorrow. I'm thinkin' I'll rock the Money Cats.