As I applied my Crest Ultra Care to my toothbrush last night, one of the bristles recoiled a small particle of paste into my right eye. I don't know if you've been brushing your eyes lately, but it hurts. Bad.
"TRUCKING HEIST," I screamed—or something that rhymes with it, anyway.
But then I started laughing uncontrollably at the situation: Me in a tiny bathroom, blaspheming the Crest in my right eye.
It was the best laugh I had all day.