Monday, February 23, 2009

The Whitest Music in the World

I've formed another postulate about music.

311 is the whitest music ever. Think about it: a bunch of reggae-loving, weed-smoking, high-pitched-rapping, guitar-distortion-playing guys from NEBRASKA= really, really, white music.

Their music has little-to-no appeal to anyone that is NOT white. Why choose 311? You like reggae, rap, and metal, and perhaps rap metal—and you want it all at once.

If you wanted reggae, you could easily listen to Bob Marley. If you wanted some metal, you could listen to Slayer. If you wanted rap, you could listen to Wu-Tang, and if you wanted rap metal you have Rage Against the Machine, or even Limp Biskit. But all three? There's only 311. And they've only found marginal success at bending musical genres.

SO think about it. If you've found yourself with a short attention span for only one genre of music, and you're white, chances you've really jammed to 311 at some point. C'mon, their bass player belongs in Phish.

I rest my case.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Nike iD—Kobe IV

The Kobe IV is based on a the feel and ├╝ber responsiveness of a soccer shoe. Kobe wanted a more low-cut style for quicker moves to the hoop. And BROKE ANKLES!!!

Also, whoever does Nike Basketball's viral video, I want to work for you.

Also, the Kobe IV is available in Nike iD. So you can create any rad colorway you want. Here's mine.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Download Nirvana's Nevermind

Yup. The whole album. If you don't like this band, you're probably communist or Al Qaeda. And that means you're an enemy.

Download it here. (the link will be active for one week. After that, you're SOL.)

AMAZING short film

via It's Nice That...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

R.I.P. In-A-World-Classic-Voice-Trailer Guy?

I know this happened like 5 months ago, but I feel this man needs a posthumous post. Don LaFontaine, the voice of EVERY action movie trailer since forever, died in September. He was famous for the "IN A WORLD..." lines.

We'll miss you, homey. Movies will be less dramatic and awesome without your touch.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Size DOES Matter

Yo. For your viewing enjoyment, I just figured out how to make my blog columns wider. Hope you like it.

If you care, Here's how I did it. For Blogger, go into Layout, then edit HTML. I bumped up my main column to about 1000 pixels. I'll show you a screenshot of my main-column size. Happy blogging on the big screen.

50 People, 1 Question

via It's Nice That.

Daily Laugh

via Cute Overload

Monday, February 9, 2009

She Loves Me Not: A Relationship Taxonomy

It is that time of the year. Relationships seem to be at their best. Or their very-dismal worst. I've seen a lot of relationships begin and end in the past couple weeks—simply by observing people's Facebook status. It's a very interesting phenomenon.

But what really happens when the relationship goes South? What are the dynamics between both parties? And how, if at all, is the relationship resolved?

I figure the best way to examine this, is through a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure format. It is the only logical solution.

1) Glances from across the room/bar/show/gym (If yes, move to # 2. If no, move to #4)

2) Flirting (If yes, move to #3. If no, move to #4)

3) First Date. (Date goes bad move to #4. If it goes well, move to #5)

4) Nah man. She's not into you, dude. THE END.

5) Second date. (Goes well, move to #7. Goes bad move to#6)

6) Tell her you'll call her. But you won't. THE END.

7) Kissing, possibly making out. (If yes, move to #8. If awkward move to#10)

8) Third date, higher possibility of heavy makeout/sex. (If yes, move to #9. If no, move to #12)

9) Maybe talk about where the relationship is going. (If yes, move to #13. If no, move to #11)

10) She says she'll call you. But she won't. THE END.

11) Relationship continues, but without a purpose. Can waver into friends-with-benefits country.
(If goes well, move to #14. If goes poorly, move to #4)

12) Awkward, naked, or disheveled silence. Followed by dash for the door. No words are exchanged. THE END.

13) Dating continues, relationship blossoms. Mutual trust and respect develops. (If yes, go to #15, if no, move to #16)

14) Relationship wanders into booty call/Drunk Dial Country. (If goes well, move to #17. If goes poorly, go to #10)

15) Strong feelings, perhaps love, develop. (If mutual, go to #18. If one-sided to#16)

16) Confusion, miscommunication. (if kind of, go to #19. If A lot go to#20)

17) Booty call remains a viable option as long as both parties are in the vicinity. THE END.

18) Love develops. Perhaps marriage or long-term partnership. (If goes well go to #21, if not go to #20)

19) Passive-aggressive, ambiguous, non-communicative threats, emails, texts, and/or phone calls. Until both parties run out of demeaning things to say. THE END.

20) End of relationship. Possible property damage, joint custody, legal proceedings, and police involvement. THE END.

21) Happily ever after. Kids, grandchildren, and retirement. THE END. (If not happily ever after, move to #20)

Valentines day blows. It is wonderful if you're in a good, stable relationship. But other than that it's a day for self-loathing single people to bitch and moan.

Also, dating is a necessary evil. Relationships can be chronically be unsuccessful for years. Then suddenly a person will be blindsided by the right one (or so people say).

Preferably all you need is one relationship that really goes the distance. Until then, it's batting practice.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Shredding the Gnar?

I've never driven over 2 hours to ski. Even on a really good day. Ever. Tomorrow that's going to change. For whatever reason, I'm going to drive 3.5 hours to ski the jagged peaks of Cataloochee, North Carolina. Shred the gnar, if you will.

I will.

I heard it's going to be 65 degrees, but I'm really really excited. So excited, I tried all my ski gear on in my room last night.

Not only will it be a great break from school work, it'll be great to get out into the mountain and slide around for awhile.

I'll be on shitty skis, and bad boots—none of which will fit or work exactly like I want. But that's OK. Anything to get back on the hill. Even if it's in North Carolina.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Reminiscent of Brandon DiCamillo's CKY2K Rhyme

Give this one a chance. It gets pretty rad.

via Earl Boykins

See The original CKY2K Rhyme here