Monday, February 23, 2009

The Whitest Music in the World

I've formed another postulate about music.

311 is the whitest music ever. Think about it: a bunch of reggae-loving, weed-smoking, high-pitched-rapping, guitar-distortion-playing guys from NEBRASKA= really, really, white music.

Their music has little-to-no appeal to anyone that is NOT white. Why choose 311? You like reggae, rap, and metal, and perhaps rap metal—and you want it all at once.

If you wanted reggae, you could easily listen to Bob Marley. If you wanted some metal, you could listen to Slayer. If you wanted rap, you could listen to Wu-Tang, and if you wanted rap metal you have Rage Against the Machine, or even Limp Biskit. But all three? There's only 311. And they've only found marginal success at bending musical genres.

SO think about it. If you've found yourself with a short attention span for only one genre of music, and you're white, chances you've really jammed to 311 at some point. C'mon, their bass player belongs in Phish.

I rest my case.


Erick Montes said...

I don't know man. I vote for U2. Anything whiter would be, well... mayonnaise.

Bagozzi Family said...

Its true.